random ramble in the wee hours of morning

It's 4.23 am, not even a drop of rain outside & i dont know if flood still prevailed.. This was the worst flood season ever, in my lifetime, with the house of one of my relatives badly affected, & his 4WD went viral on whatsapp - sinking in one of the badly affected road& most of his important documents back home couldnt be saved, let alone his belongings.. Me? Coming home through a river of water alongside the road is scary & passing through the affected road with fear, is indeed the first experience in my lifetime since the roads to my house were never blocked.. Not going to ramble about flood since i believe there are hundreds that were badly affected.. my flight for advanced birthday trip was in less than 36 hours & i havent packed anything yet.. i dont know why, unlike the once a year trip previously, this one feels too ordinary... Maybe flood spoil the mood & the news from one of my travel partner were depressing, but who am i to complain when there were thousands struggling out there, because of a natural disaster.. Speaking of when the nature decide to be 'fierce'... Going to be a year older, all i want to say is, age doesnt matter... Go with the flow & enjoy the present, that was the ultimate goal for the time being.. perhaps i'm immune to expectations , so i dont care anymore if people say that i should get married & live the happily ever after tale... As long as i'm enjoying my life, who cares?? Getting to do whatever that i want without constraints, that was more than enough for me. What people say doesnt really matter because at the end, i'm the one that will face the consequences! on another note, i admire those who travelled a lot, both for vounteer works around the globe & vacation, but never boasted...exploring the world but still be humble... Having much adventures while still young but maintain humble because already taste much! Coupled with noble heart! Me? Limited experience & no volunteer works at all!

nothing

again, just a random ramble.. nothing much.. life goes on as usual.. i have wonderful friends @ clinic - those yg memang kind-hearted.. neighbours ok -i mean nearest clinic located out of Kelantan & the other one, not in the same district but still, they are ok! & nearest hospital is ok too.. the environment is okay, so it would be foolish for me to care on trivial matters.. but then, the simple philosophy - dont care about the people who dont even care about you still prevail!

friday mode

http://genta-rasa.com/2014/04/24/derhaka-dalam-cinta/#more-286b even though it's more to 'putus cinta', what attracted me : hamba meminta dengan keterbatasannya, Allah memberi dengan kesempurnaanNya!

event 17/4/14

3 month @ clinic & it was quite a hard task to raise awareness alone.. so, inviting 'otai' was an option ... i started with CME few days before the event (armed with the 'kenali Ubat Anda' slide), so that some had ideas why it's important to own a registered drug/medicine ( my humble opinion - not many healthcare professional had vast knowledge about medicines except pharmacist/pharmacist assistant/doctor/nurse/MA... & then, proceed with the plan to invite 'otai'... nowadays, music was another medium to share messages & 'dikir barat' 'bukanlah sesuatu yang asing di kalangan masyarakat setempat di sini sebab pendikir terkenal pun stay kat sini... & i remember very well, when i was still a child, there was an annual 'dikir barat' competition in my village (selain pertandingan gasing & persembahan wayang kulit)... so, choosing something 'yang memang x asing di kalangan komuniti di sini' should be fine... the committee agreed & 'persembahan berjalan dengan lancar' (maybe cacat sikit dari segi protokol sebab i dont even know the emcee!')... the response : overwhelming(at least for me) ! for the first time in my life, i hear YB say something about pharmacy/medicine (biasa VIP/VVIP highlight disease/doctor je dalam event yang melibatkan semua)... & some of the staffs yang busy during the event siap request the album from me! & ade jgk keluar ayat 'jonm layan dikir farmasi'!... maybe amongst the 2029 crowd(public) plus 200++ government staffs(selain kakitangan klinik), not all drop by dekat booth... tapi at least, the messages shared via the 'dikir barat' reached many people... the lyrics, from my personal point of view, memang padat dengan mesej berguna, bukan sekadar hiburan kosong... if i was a deejay @ any radio, i wont hesitate untuk putarkan mane2 lagu yang best kat radio.. boring layan lagu-lagu nasyid/rock/balada je =) btw, this wasnt an 'angkat bakul' post... just sharing my 2 cents' worth! credit goes to those involved in the event - be it pameran, ceramah / dikir farmasi)... my current clinic mungkin kecil, tp that's the best i can do to raise awareness... mungkin agak out of box panggil team yang biasa buat persembahan di tempat yang ekslusif, tp again, that's the option for the time being... kesudian mereka yang terlibat untuk datang sangatlah dihargai apatah lagi untuk event yang berbudget kecik(harapkan penaja dari segi item je)

Ulang tayang

http://m.facebook.com/notes/dawah-for-the-sake-of-allaah/hook-up-with-allah-allah-will-hook-you-up/159729480756008 One of my favourite article... Dulu, kini & selamanya =) yang kelihatan indah x semestinya tiada ranjau di tengah jalan & yang kelihatan berliku itu x semestinya tiada sinar bahagia pada akhirnya...

Universal

Living in a village & working in a clinic exposed me to ' universal' concept... Often, our community measure 'rezeki' through wealth - own trendy & up to date gadget/ accessories/clothes(including car), a luxury house, sometimes by the ability to tour/round the globe - Mecca, Paris & the list continue... Living in a village, sometimes, you get something for free ( strong 'ukhuwah' between neighbours) or maybe you pay something cheaper - translated, you got the same thing for different prices... & one of my friend hold her ceremony according to her taste but spend less - got discount for most of the items, pay just RM 1.50 for a fresh flower/rose (freaking cheap for a fresh flower, at least to me!) & relatives sponsor some of the items, thus reducing budget... & the best part, the ceremony fulfill her taste/dream! in this case, it wasnt your salary that mtters, it's your luck! & 'rezeki'!

it's my own choice

It had been 3 months... Some asked me how's clinic? My answer - as usual... The major difference is multitasking... At least for someone who used to work at major hospital, methadone in the morning, quit smoking service, dispense, counselling or supposed-to-continue MTAC need multitasking... Not to mention the monthly routine - 'reten' or any unexpected tasks... & it's back to basic diseases - dengue, DM/Hpt/other chronic diseases... Without experience in major hospital, i think i'll easily fall into the pharmacist turn PPF trap because the knowledge that i gained in previous years (outpatient, galenical, TPN & DIS) proved to be useful... so, my credit goes to all my 'teachers' in HRPZII, either directly or indirectly., be it big boss, bosses, pharmacists or pharmacist assisstants.. & also, i'm thankful to those who continue to help me especially when i asked something that i have no expertise/ had little knowledge in certain areas/field... like i said before, knowledges are infinite.. Lifestyle-wise, i dont think it need further elaboration - paying breakfast/lunch half than what i pay in KB, escape from being the only creature in the house, gain new friends ,new environment (beach/ calm atmosphere in a village near the river) - it's a calm life...

the riddle of MH 370

it need no introduction - how a big aeroplane vanished in thin air without any trace & still missing...remains a mystery ... i cant imagine the feeling of the people whose loved one 'gone without any trace' together with the plane... i mean, if someone perform umrah/ hajj, at least we know the risk - berisiko untuk 'pergi' samada dipijak semasa tawaf/berebut2 kucup jhajrul aswad/ certain diseases/ maybe problem di tengah jalan - weather/any other constraints... but in this case, i think, most people dont expect something will happen... they didnt have a proper farewell & assume that it's just a normal journey & they will reunite with them soon...but if it's a tragedy, then in a blink they lost their beloved one .. unexpected, beyond their imagination... surely devastating isnt the right word to describe their feeling... however, i love the phrase from Kapten Norudin Abdul Majid , a true 'profesional islam', " di mana sains berakhir, di situ kuasa Allah bermula...& hanya ada 2 cara untuk menemui mereka iaitu doa orang-orang soleh & doa ahli keluarga kerana mereka lebih beremosi"... dead or alive, his words symbolize 'kebergantungan kepada Allah dalam apa jua hal'..

CINTA HIGH CLASS

i read Cinta High Class & Cintaku Kerana Agamamu but i'm well aware that nowadays, it's quite rare to meet those that still having faith in 'Cinta High Class'... & i'm lucky to meet few of them & the recent one is my current hangout mate ... strictly no dating, approach through third party, method of communication, if important, through sms & whatsapp... & how she have faith in her future husband? her answer is simple -"leave it to Allah. if the path is easy(dipermudahkan), then she believe that her soulmate was given by god... & she opposed the idea of being madly in love before marriage because for her, 'keberkatan kurang jika bercinta sebelum kahwin'...guess, that's true - sampai masanya, segalanya dipermudahkan... soulmate is a complicated riddle that one cant simply answer it's 100% certain until it's over..

R.A.N.D.O.M

people say my current clinic terletak di hujung dunia... i say, it's strategic.... dekat d engan tok bali/ the - xtau-bila-nak-siap-portokbali & kuala besut.. breakfast/lunch was cheap, half than what i pay at kb... at times, kuala besut was my destination for some refreshment after work & of course, nearest groceries source located in terengganu too (tapi still x jejak kaki lagi!)... not to mention the famous megi ketam / ikan bakar - tapi tak terfikir nak pegi cari pun... maybe because i can be considered as local(for the time being), tak heran lagsung dengan semua tu ... in term of work, for me, clinic is different.. the same goes to the challenges! come what may, since it's my own choice, i wont regret!

mission accomplished!

it had been quite a long time since i joined any marathon/walkhaton/ similar activities... & this time, it was more to enjoy walking with KB Mall/tesco/tune hotel as background pictures... the last time i got prize in marathon/walkathon was more than 10 ago... thus, i dont aim for any prize (it require hardwork & intensive training to stay fit!), just want to walk & enjoy with friend... i mean, it would be strange if i just walk across the Sultan Yahya Petra bridge in normal days... this is the only chance & it's fun!

down memory lane

addicted to late night's drama when i should & have to wake up early in the morning & continue the usual routine... the same place with different scenario & who would have thought that our decision to live in separate house was a blessing in disguise? despite the boring feeling when i live alone, sometimes i enjoy the tranquility of having a 'house' that can be considered safer than outside... maybe there were histories of few break out, but then, i was never harmed or met the culprits face to face - they just left signs of broken house through windows & i purposedly live with what-i-consider-as-basic-things so that nobody takkan jumpa any valuable items & that, would make the house less attractive... & that's the reason why i never longed for any LCD/LED tv... a safety precaution to live alone in the deserted quarters (oh, kiri kanan, atas, bawah xde penghuni except blok houseman yang hanya menyala lampu pukul 12 malam ke atas once in a while - same macam xde orang!)... scared? a bit, especially bila ade news regarding break out/baru kena pecah masuk)... but yes, being me, i can only live with the people that i feel comfortable to be with & that apply to semua benda - friendship & perhaps, relationship? heart is complicated & i bet, nobody boleh force me... fully aware the risk but hey, it's my life! no point ikut telunjuk semua orang but you yourself ____________... it's a puzzle that i never know nor i'm certain for future, sometimes is unpredictable...

weekend getaway

Nothing much... It's my hobby to document my getaway, although it's just a local trip...... & it seemed that i cant completely erasing the 'jalan-jalan' part.... last time was really a short trip but still, i enjoyed myself very much... Coupled with great travel buddies & the environment, it was my first weekend getaway.. i mean, i never plan any outing less than 2 days/strictly on weekend... & the tricks for such short getaway: go for the most adventurous part first & find a hotel near shopping territories! At least for adventure seeking like me - once the adventure was over, i'm already exhausted & not craving for more ....Killing 2 birds with one stone - enjoy to the max & once finished, went straight away to the hotel & shop till drop after that... The bonus: if your luggage wasnt enough, be the early bird on the next day... I didnt plan to shop much but when the price of the items were extremely cheap, it's hard to walk around & sight seeing without grabbing anything! All in all, although it was short, at least we covered the major part... & being the travel bug, since the gap for our connecting flight was few hours, i managed to escape to The Curve & IKEA Mutiara Damansara using the new coach... Bus from Subang Airport every one hour & it was a waste to spend time waiting at the airport since i know The Curve & IKEA are just less than hours' away!

coincidence

Transit... & coincidentally met a gang of my ex schoolmate! Of all places, i dont expect to see them hanging around next to my table... Bila ditakdirkan pertemuan terjadi... Chance untuk bertemu agak slim tapi still, we had brief conversation... All of them are the remaining group of single women dengan lifestyle lebih kurang my lifestyle - working, sometimes hang around dengan geng kamceng & jika berkesempatan, travel & having vacation/short getaway together... Tapi still, we are happy... X la depressed bila most of our peers get married & having babies... Rezeki masing-masing la...xde partner, bebas enjoy ke hulu & ke hilir walaupun local saje... Entahla, for me age is just a number... Jika kahwin kerana terpaksa, hati xleh terima... Chance untuk nusyuz agak tiggi... jika itu terjadi, apa ertinya sebuah institusi perkahwinan yang sepatutnya dibina demi mencari redha-Nya? Bukan mawaddah & sakinah yang diperolehi, tetapi hati yang tak ikhlas melayari bahtera kehidupan... & the 'kelakar' part : status was determined by ring... Ade cincin bermakna telah dimiliki... Or if single, taking the joke salah sorang dari mereka " kau tu pakai cincin sebab koya lebih"...

the power of ......

Cleaning kuarters before emptying it had taken its toll on me... Had severe flu (thinking of going to hospital for nebuliser but lucky warm water be the temporary remedy) & not fit to drive... Tried to call for rescue but to no avail... All i did was reciting "Rabbi yassir wala tu'assir" & surprisingly, my 'saviour' came to rescue me, unexpectedly... Small effort but the result: powerful...

yesterday, today & tomorrow...

Well, this time i write not because i'm bored... Tapi to commemorate my transition phase .. For the time being, it's a great life... Baru lagi, tapi judging from current lifestyle, i'm sure it's far away better... jika sebelum ini kerap diuji, kali ini ujian yang mendatang adalah nikmat yang berlebihan.. Bila pernah berdepan dengan ujian yang besar, segala ujian berikutnya dirasakan kecik saja... I'm not going to dwell on past, sebab past is past yang tak lagi bermakna... Malah, segalanya dirasakan bagaikan mimpi... Bila terjaga, mimpi itu sudah berakhir & tidak lagi menghantui hidup... Perhaps another term is redha dengan ketentuan/ qada & qadar yang telah terjadi & betul, good or bad, hikmah ujian itu besar... Maybe boleh disamakan dengan training session for a tougher & better life... apepun, hari ini adalah realiti.. Tak kisah la ape yang terjadi sebelum ni, as long as i'm contented with what i have for now, it's ok... Bahagia tu, for me bukan terletak pada kemampuan memiliki segala-galanya, tapi lebih kepada menghargai apa yang terhidang di depan mata...

Part II: Lifestyle

Now i understand why ramai suka pilih tempat kerja dekat dengan rumah... I used to be bored, so my solution is to enjoy with beloved friends... Working overtime is a no-no jika xde geng sekepala... & balik kuarters xde benda nak buat... But now, having 2 houses, i was showered with extra love... Balik sini, sana call.. Balik sana, sini call... tak rasa terkongkong pun... different case time stay alone, nobody care nak balik pukul berapa pun although i rarely keluar malam... & in term of lifestyle, of course living alone hanya concern hidup sendiri saja... Tapi living with families, banyak benda boleh buat bila balik, x kira rumah mane satu... & xde langsung feeling nak keluar enjoy... Although, i still proceed with plan 2-3months ago & lucky our plan memang schedule on public holidays or else, tiket flight burn begitu saja.... sebab masa buat plan memang tak terfikir nak tukar, our intuition untuk buat kerja gila melencong time 2 hari public holiday is right... & guess, xde sape nak bising / jealous/ kecoh/tabur fitnah bila travel sana sini (as long as i tak bankrap at the end of the month, sape kisah?)...

recap of the week

A week & i feel like a community pharmacist except coverage lebih luas.. I dont diagnose(memang tak minat pun diagnose), yet, while dispense, usually the patients open up their stories naturally.. An indirect way to learn about patients' condition & at the same time, assessing their compliance.. & agak menyedihkan bila majoriti tak compliance atau bila ok, cara ambik pulak salah.. Since there's maternal child health, it's a new field that i had to venture & that means, i dont dispense typical cold/flu/cough medicines.. Clinic nowadays dah agak terkedepan berbanding 3-4years ago...The medicines maybe tak canggih sangat, tapi walaupun tak canggih, the good thing is klinik tak kedekut untuk beli 2in1 medicines/combination ie glucovance/obimin.. And, jika yang basic pun compliance/awareness ke laut, what's the point bagi ubat canggih-canggih tapi at the end, patient admitted to ward, perhaps due to hypertensive crisis/heart attack/MI/diabetic ketoacidosis/severe asthmatic attack? Tackling a common disease tapi konsep prevention is better than cure apply! So far, apart from cold/flu/cough/DM/asthma/hypertension/IHD, i meet patient yang foreign animal masuk dalam mata tapi xleh dikeluarkan, mild accident cases & pregnant ladies yang alami dermatitis hanya time pregnant.. So, life tak boring..

change

People say life at clinic is boring... I say it's a calm life... Damai... It's totally a different life... lots to learn & at the same time, it's you who control your own remote... Depending of what type of pharmacist that you want to be - you fix what you want to do... for me, this is the chance to get to know more about patients... I mean, in major hospital, it's impossible to cater all patients... Here, depending on the patient's situation, i could do more... & building rapport with the staffs - that's another way to learn -indirectly.. I mean, the staff nurse here sometimes share their experiences on patient's condition - so far, i learned more about wound, thalassemia, vaccination for babies & many more to come (sikit saje tapi it's better than stuck pada keadaan yang sama)..... of course, for the time being, i dont encounter life threatening situation... But here, as front liners, we do small steps to prevent serious complications / adopting the "prevention is better than cure" concept! That's why i'm brave enough to say that it wasnt the place that matters, it's your intention that determine everything...

game over

I didnt transfer to the end of the world... But still, when you left, there's possibility that u'll never meet the people that you used to see on daily basis, again... like my ex-roomate at A5-2 , the one facing the 'butik pengantin'(before kna halau keluar & then masuk balik), although we worked at the same hospital(maybe used to work), it took almost 2 years for us to reconcile again (i wonder if she transfer somewhere else, but no, she was always there).. I'm still in 'wonderland', 1 month & 10 days is too fast for me (plus the drama, it was shorter than that... Perhaps, if everything is fine & dandy, 1 month is more than enough... I go, because that's what i call as 'fate'... changing routine of 5 years, the first place in my career, maybe it takes time to adapt to the changes... However, working at DIS, i got opportunity to see budding young pharmacist adapt & grow... Some are great! indirectly, i learned something (minus free mandari class =) while screening at satellite - if you ever read this, thanks...) ... Orientation, JKTU meeting - also gave variety to my job scope... I learned lots actually & credit should goes to yang fix penempatan at certain unit... it wasnt in vain... & guess, that's why i'm willing to work hard on my last day... I'm not perfect, tapi i tried to do my best... Not to gain recognition, but that's my way to 'jadikan kerja sebagai ibadah'... Maybe, they are just papers, but that paper sometimes help those patients yang betul-betul perlu... X la dipanggil KPK for no reason... Outside, i'm blessed with wonderful friends... That's why i never take marriage as something that's too serious... I love freedom & my friend boleh tukar role jadi 'kekasih' yang paling memahami anytime, or maybe, transform into the heroin time dalam situasi 'damsel in distress' or whatever role yang perlu... Mestilaaaa sayang nak lepaskan friendship that's so special camni.... in term of work, the job scope is okay ... but again, working at the same place tanpa pergi ke tempat lain, mind jadi tertutup... sebab x nampak senario di tempat lain...